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THEORIES ON WHY THERE ARE NO WILD COWS:
![Funny picture of cow in pasture that painted itself like a zebra](http://www.grinningplanet.com/2003/wild-cows/cow-painted-2-copyright1.gif)
The planet is not so wild about what's getting fed to cows these days...
THEORY A
They were killed off because of their continual devastating raids on farmers' pasture weeds.
THEORY B
They hatched a cow-brained scheme to get organized and formed the group "Bovines for Easily Eaten Food" (BEEF).