Hi Fun Visit Days Out!. HVAC Humor!.

I know it's hard to believe, but there are a lot of stupid people in our industry, and what's better than sharing a laugh among friends? That's right, making fun of someone else is even more fun.

Hi Presumption!., Lets Begin...,

(Hi's)Pie Are Round- The Making of an Engineer:

Like all parents, the farmer wanted his son to have a better life than he had, and again, like most parents, he viewed sending the boy to college as the best way to accomplish this.

So, the farmer scrimped and saved until he had enough money to send his son off to college to become an engineer.

The boy studied hard and was doing well but could hardly wait for the first school break to come home and see his parents.

The boy came home, walked in the house, and hugged his mother and father. After some small talk the father said "well, let's hear some of that engineer schooling you been getting".

The boy thought for a moment and proudly said "Well, I learned Pie-R-Squared"

The farmer took off his hat, scratched his head, and dropped his gaze to the floor.

He slowly looked up at his son and said:

Damn it boy! Don't you know nuthin! Any dang fool knows that pie are ROUND!!! I should've used that college money to buy a new tractor.

The moral to this story? Just because they don't understand you, doesn't mean you're wrong!

(Hi) The old "Hilti the tool-box to the floor" Joke...

Beware! Some technicians have a warped sense of humor. Take one of Zen’s contributing writers (please, take him). We'll call him John; not to protect him...we call him that 'cause that's his name. He finds great humor in using a Hilti gun to “secure” peoples tool boxes to mechanical room floors…he’s a sick man.

(Hi)Trade Names:

*Many Trades are know best by their "given" names...here's an updated list...,

- Electrician = Sparky.

- Structural Mechanic = Grunt.

- Plumber = Turd Herder.

- Sheet Metal Mechanic = Tin Knocker.

- Piper = Vic (as in Victaulic).

- Carpenter = Wood Chuck.

- Site Worker = Ground Hog.

- Roofer = Animal.

- HVAC Technician = Prima Donna.

*Note: "Actually calling any of the above by their "trade names" may result in physical violence or laughter...be careful."

HVAC => Hot-Very-Angry-Customer.

(Hi) Service With A Smile:

*(Hi) Testing Your HVAC IQ:*
Dealing with a heating or cooling system is not an everyday occurrence for most people. By taking this HVAC test of 20 questions, you can quickly and easily find out how much (or how little) you know about the most expensive appliance in your home (and maybe save yourself some time and money too).

1.	HVAC stands for Heating, Ventilation, Air Conditioning.

		a. True
		b. False

2.	A HVAC system consumes approximately what % of your total annual energy bill?

		a. 10-15%
		b. 20-25%
		c. 30-40
		d. 45-55%

3.	The most important thing to consider when purchasing a new HVAC system is:

		a. Get the best price.
		b. Get a system with the highest efficiency.
		c. Select a contractor you can trust.
		d. Select Name Brand equipment.

4.	In our area, the most popular types of systems used to heat & cool residences are:

		a. Forced warm air furnaces with ductwork.
		b. Hot water systems (baseboard or radiators).
		c. Heat Pumps.
		d. Space heating (floor furnaces, wall furnaces, heaters).
		e. All of the above.

5.	Which of the above (a,b,c,d,e) does not require a vent to remove the products of combustion?

		a. Forced warm air furnaces with ductwork.
		b. Hot water systems (baseboard or radiators).
		c. Heat Pumps.
		d. Space heating (floor furnaces, wall furnaces, heaters).
		e. All of the above.

6.	AFUE refers to the efficiency rating of:

		a. Furnaces/Boilers.
		b. Air Conditioners.
		c. Heat Pumps.

7.	SEER refers to the efficiency rating of:

		a. Furnaces/Boilers.
		b. Air Conditioners & Heat Pump Cooling.

8.	HSPF refers to the efficiency rating of:

		a. Furnaces/Boilers.
		b. Air Conditioner Cooling.
		c. Heat Pump Heating.

9.	IAQ stands for:

		a. A government Secret Service group.
		b. Indoor Air Quality.
		c. Abbreviation for IRAQ.

10.	A split system means:

		a. The system is cracked.
		b. Condenser, fan, and/or coil can be separated and connected with tubing.

11.	Relative humidity means:

		a. Wet relatives.
		b. The amount of water in the air compared with the amount of water the air could hold at a specific temperature.

12.	Insufficient moisture (Dry Air) inside your house can cause:

		a. Dry, itchy skin.
		b. Clogged sinuses.
		c. Increased risk of bacteria infection.
		d. Gaps in woodwork .
		e. Aggravated asthma & allergy symptoms.
		f. All of the above.

13.	The advantages of a programmable thermostat are:

		a. Reduces energy costs.
		b. Monitors system.
		c. Advises routine maintenance .
		d. All of the above.

14.	Zoning a HVAC system means:

		a. You have obtained the proper Permits.
		b. The City has approved the location of your system.
		c. Controlling temperatures to suit lifestyle requirements.

15.	Steam coming from the outdoor section of the heat pump accompanied sometimes by a loud noise means:

		a. There is a serious problem.
		b. The unit needs additional refrigerant.
		c. The unit is in the normal defrost mode; the sound is that of the reversing valve shifting.

16.	It is normal for the outside coil of a heat pump to have white frost or light ice on it in winter.

		a. True
		b. False
		c. Don't know

17.	When a heat pump’s ability to extract the exact amount of heat from the outside temperature that the house requires, it has reached its “balancing point”.

		a. True
		b. False

18.	Heat pumps produce heat by:

		a. Combustion
		b. Absorption

19.	Air conditioners and Heat Pumps cool your house by:

		a. Bringing cooler air into the house.
		b. Extracting heat from within your house.
		c. Neither one.

20.	A cracked heat exchanger on a furnace causes the

		a. Flame to burn poorly.
		b. Flame to produce soot.
		c. Flame to produce Carbon Monoxide.
		d. Mandatory, immediate shut down of system.
		e. All of the above.

I hope this little exercise has provided additional insight for the most expensive appliance in your house.